The Noise Within

My guest blog on @Gayatri_gadre - her completion of 6 years of blogging.

http://www.gayatrigadre.com/blog/the-noise-within/#.WgrsHt7T_VA.twitter

THE NOISE WITHIN

With each passing day, the mind is getting more and more agitated. Gone are the days of mindless living, carefree actions and thoughtlessness. The noise inside keeps growing louder and louder.

It was not that there was no noise earlier. In fact it was more but I did not hear them, too busy with the noise outside. The flush of youth, of self importance, job and competition, friends, travel, alcohol, sex - there was noise enough to drown what was inside. 

Building a nest, family, responsibilities, births and deaths. Distractions were galore and somehow the soul was forgotten and it sat in a corner with bowed head, un-noticed, un-loved and ignored. Without nourishment it shrivelled. 

Now with age - with the noise outside dimming each passing day, the noise within is growing. At times it is deafening - overpowering all sense and I find myself turning to that lost soul. I am dusting it, cleaning it, feeding it but years of neglect has not only left a scar, it is also sad and sulking. The more it sulks, the more I get drawn to it. I hold it in my arms, rock it gently, murmur words seeking forgiveness. I hope some day it will embrace me back and liberate me. For I now know, I was its servant and not the other way round.

I also realise now, to hear the noise within, you need silence without. To experience movement, one needs to know stillness. The Zen is not outside, it is inside - in the disguise of noise. Be still and you will hear that noise within and at its core you will find silence. You will find stillness.

I will find my way somehow. Will you?